While you may enjoy the sight of your partner in a pair of high heels during sex, this does not necessarily mean that you have a shoe fetish.
A fetish is sexual arousal in response to an object or body part that is not normally sexual, such as shoes or feet. It is more common in men.
Many people with fetishes need to be attracted to or fantasize about it, alone or with a partner, in order to wake up sexually, get an erection and have an orgasm.
A person with a fetish can masturbate while holding, smelling, rubbing or tasting the object. Or they may ask their partner to wear it or use it during sex.
The most common fetishes
People can fetishize almost anything.
There are many sites for many interesting fetishes, says Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University. “Anything you could imagine.”
According to a study, the most common fetishes
include body parts such as legs, or body features such as obesity piercings or tattoos. Legs are by far the most common. Body fluid, body size and hair fetishes are not far behind
After the body parts come things you wear. The same study put clothes worn on the hips and legs, such as socks and skirts, at the top of the list. Shoes, after underwear, are ranked far behind.
Fetishes involving the sensation of a particular material, often made of leather or rubber, are also common. Some people like to dress up and their partner in furry animal costumes.
Where do fetishes come from?
Sexual harassment experts do not agree on the causes. Some people can detect their attraction in early childhood before they become aware of their sexuality.
A fetish can also come from seeing inappropriate sexual behavior during childhood or from sexual abuse, says Kenneth Rosenberg, MD. He is a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College.
Are fetishes okay?
A sexual fetish is not by definition a disorder, but it can reach this level if it causes intense, constant anxiety.
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“Whether one does it alone or with a partner, if they are happy with it, then it is not a problem,” says Krueger, “as long as it is pleasurable and no one is forced to take part.”
“My patients come to me because they feel it’s a problem,” says Rosenberg. “Their behaviors are not interesting, fun or even sexy. They are not just experimenting with new means of sexual expression. They are desperate, forced and sometimes so upset by their behavior that suicide is taken into account. “
When it is a disorder, it feels out of control.
One can disappear from work or home to practice one’s fetish secretly. This charm could also prevent them from doing their job.
“A doctor could have a foot fetish, for example, and spend a lot of time and attention on his patients’ feet,” says Krueger.
People with these disorders can also steal to get the object of their desire. Often, they can not have meaningful sex with other people. They may prefer to have time only with their object, even when they are in a relationship with another person.
If your partner said, “Wear a pair of sexy shoes tonight,” you would probably say, “Why not?” “But if your partner said, ‘You can sleep in the other room, let me take your shoes off,’ that would be a problem,” says Rosenberg.
Typical treatment includes medication
- down on the floor the nice pantyhose sexual fetish
- down to press the nice tights
However, some fetishes can be harmless. A recent study of “adult baby / diaper lovers” found that among about 1,800 men and 140 women who reported having this fetish, most said they were “comfortable” with their fetish and that it was not a problem.
The same can be said for people who enjoy slavery, discipline or domination, sadism and masochism, commonly known as “BDSM”, says Rosenberg. As long as everyone agrees, then the chances are “no one is injured in a way that is extreme or permanent and everyone is happy with what is happening”.